What is New Years? Shouldnt it just be called New Year? And its not even possessive by itself, so it should be new year. But all that is put upon you for the new year in forms of resolutions, goals or to-do’s. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves during this time of the year? Its just another day by all other standards. How does the effectiveness of goal reaching match up to setting them now or at any other time of the year? Shouldnt goals be set when the want is realized? With a time period that you can reasonably achieve the goal in.
Here’s a good list of why resolutions fail.
1. Your resolution is about ‘not doing’ something.
It is said that we create more of what we put our attention on. Resolutions that focus on stopping something put your attention exactly where you don’t want it. Instead, think about what you do want and how you will get it. [See SMART goals below]2. Your resolutions aren’t written down or captured
Many resolutions are forgotten the next day or the week after. Write your goals down or record them in some way that will make it easier for you to be reminded of them.3. You’re not using S.M.A.R.T. goals.
S.M.A.R.T. goals are
- Specific,
- Measurable,
- Achievable by you,
- Realistic, and
- Time framed.
For example, rather than thinking about ‘losing weight’ get more specific about what you want to achieve and how you will measure your results: e.g. I want to be able to run for 45 minutes without stopping. Even better, make your goal the behaviour that will create the result you want: e.g. I will go to the gym three times a week for at least 30 minutes each time.
[See Tips for achieving your goals]4. You’re trying to eat an elephant in one bite.
Often people take on an ‘elephant-sized goal’, stand back, look at it, feel overwhelmed and then don’t even start. Break your goal down into smaller stepping stones. Some people find it helpful to make them the smallest steps you can take – steps so small that you don’t feel any resistance to doing them. Instead of ‘working out for 90 minutes every day at the gym’, it might be ‘go to the gym and use the sauna for a quiet rest’. Let yourself experience success – it’s essential in order to make success a habit.5. You check on your resolutions once a year.
Some people only think about their goals on New Year’s Eve. If you want to succeed you need a plan with reviews built in to it. Create deadlines for checking in on your progress throughout the year.6. You don’t really want to succeed.
Lots of people choose ‘me too’ goals that aren’t really important to them and don’t fire them up. Make sure your goal or resolution is ‘right for me’ and not just what someone else is doing. To succeed, it’s helpful to know why your resolution is important to you and what achieving it will give you.7. You’ve got no accountability – it’s just you and your resolution!
Nothing happens if you don’t do what you resolve to. Most people perform better when they are accountable to someone or they have a consequence for non-performance; e.g. you let someone know your resolution and check in with them each week or you promise yourself tickets to your favourite concert only if you finish your assignments on time.8. You give up at the first hurdle.
As well as unexpected assistance and lucky breaks, you can expect the odd obstacle and set back along the way to your goal. It helps to think about the likely obstacles and how you’ll deal with them. Then, if they occur it’s easier to stay on track and not be thrown by them.9. What’s the hidden bonus in failing?
Very often we have a hidden payoff in staying the way we are. If you keep setting a goal or resolution that you then give up on, it’s worth looking at what you gain by staying the way you are now or what you might lose by changing.10. You don’t value your promises to yourself.
Success is built on keeping your promises to yourself [and to others]. Start with yourself. Make your resolutions, goals or commitments to yourself small enough that you know you can keep them, and begin building your commitment to yourself and your integrity.